Friday, May 10, 2019

Saying Good-Bye.... to My Mom

It's been a season, y'all.  As soon as I feel like I can catch my breath, it's knocked right out of me again.  This week we had the closing ceremonies for my younger girl's homeschool campus (we meet once a week to co-learn, support and have fellowship).  I returned home to the call we never expect.  

My mom had been found, passed away, in her home.

Yup.
Wow.
Life isn't always shiny and pretty, especially mine.  I don't speak of this often or to many.  I grew up poor and often homeless in the roughest of neighborhoods.  I was in and out of Foster Care, homes of friends and family as our home wasn't the best of places to be, for me.

We'd worked to make peace and I was there for my parents, and worked to be there for Mom after my Dad passed 12 years ago, the day after my birthday and a week before I gave birth to my daughter (this was 12 years and one week ago).  She passed away the day before my parent's anniversary and I find peace in my hope that they were together, on their anniversary, free of physical, heart and soul pain.
We can do hard things.  
This was said by my friend, Shanon, the at the closing ceremonies.  This has also been the story of my life.  I am so grateful for my relationship with and faith in God.  God has provided angels to carry me through my whole life.  Amazing Grandparents, a Dad I was the twinkle in his eye, my Aunt Dee who helped raise me, awesome Uncle and Aunt who loved on me and cousins who treated me like I was a beloved baby sister.

The moment the call came in, I received two loving texts from friends pouring love into me, who didn't know that I was walking through a hard thing.  Horrified at what I'd just been notified of, those women offered to jump in the car and go with me, they texted me through the night and again in the morning, they prayed with me and over me.  

God works like that.
He loves and gives us help when we need it.  Angels in the form of dear friends and beloved family.  Family and friends who haven't stopped praying.  Friends who came with coffee and to help me talk it out the next day, who've met me when I needed to breathe, who brought roses to notes and so, so, so much love.

I am doing that, praying, walking, breathing, processing.  Life moves on, as two days later it is my youngest daughter's 8th birthday.  The next day, today, my husband's 55th.  We move forward, we breathe, we celebrate others, all one step at a time.
I appreciate You, your support and friendship.  I'm hanging in, in a fog, while I pray, breathe and walk forward.

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